A Day in the Life of a Core
by Theo Telshalla-Arieda Gardner
Summary: Theo Telshalla - A portal fanfic my friend and I made. Please be aware of some SPOILERS to the game Portal 2. No romantic stuff or lemons. I strongly dislike romantic stuff... especially with robots... I hope you enjoy!
1. Introducing the Cores

**A Day in the Life of a Core**

**Volume 1**

**Theo Telshalla** and **Anonymous**

UCFC= Un-corrupted Fact Core

FC= Facepalm Core

**UCFC**: Fact: The Facepalm Core can only say three words: 'Facepalm', 'Oh', and 'No'.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: The cake is a lie.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: If Wheatley were to be classified as a living thing, his genus would be 'Moron'.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: The corrupted fact core helped with getting Wheatley out of GLaDOS' body.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: GLaDOS has no use for you.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: Nine out of ten scientists agree that Aperture Science is better than Black Mesa.  
><strong>GLaDOS<strong>: Don't you dare...  
><strong>FC<strong>: nonononononononono Facepalm.  
><strong>GLaDOS<strong>: That's it...  
>*<strong>GLaDOS moves the Facepalm Core's rail so that the Facepalm Core is over the incinerator<strong>*  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: The Facepalm Core is about to get incinerated.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm  
><strong>Announcer<strong>: Preparing to drop Facepalm Core in three  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm  
><strong>Announcer<strong>: Two  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm  
><strong>Announcer<strong>: One  
><strong>FC<strong>: No, no, no, no, no, no.  
><strong>Announcer<strong>: Dropping Facepalm Core.  
>*<strong>Facepalm Core comes off of its rail<strong>*  
><strong>FC<strong>: Faaaaaaaaacepaaaaaaaaaalm!  
>*<strong>Facepalm Core is a foot away from the incinerator<strong>*  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: The Facepalm Core provides comic relief at Aperture. Only eight out of ten scientists would then agree that Aperture is better than Black Mesa.  
>*<strong>GLaDOS closes incinerator<strong>*  
>*<strong>Facepalm Core falls on top of the incinerator and rolls onto the floor.<strong>*  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm  
><strong>GLaDOS<strong>: I'm going to regret this...  
><strong>FC<strong>: Facepalm  
><strong>GLaDOS<strong>: I regret it already...  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: Wheatley is coming this way.  
><strong>FC<strong>: Oh no... Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm...  
><strong>UCFC<strong>: Fact: The Un-corrupted Fact Core is agreeing with the Facepalm Core.  
><strong>GLaDOS<strong>: ***mumbles*** Morons...


	2. Sort of Ch 2 Vol 3

**A Day in the Life of a Core**

**Volume 3**

**Theo Telshalla** and **Anonymous**

**AN: Please note this says Volume THREE. It doesn't really matter, but I'd just figure I'd put it out here. The other person that helped write this has moved on to a different school, preventing me from using the chapter 2 that she had in her notebook. **

UCFC= Un-corrupted Fact Core

FC= Facepalm Core

AC= Adventure Core

**UCFC:** Fact: The Adventure Core is obsessed with the 'Aperture Science testing lady'.**  
>AC:<strong> I wonder where that pretty lady went.**  
>FC:<strong> Facepalm.**  
>AC:<strong> I should go on an ADVENTURE to find her.**  
>FC: <strong>Oh no... Facepalm.**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The Facepalm core dislikes the Adventure Core as much as the Adventure Core dislikes the Space Core.**  
>AC:<strong> We all get it, you want to go to darned space!****

***Long silence***

**FC: **Facepalm.**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The Un-corrupted Fact Core is agreeing with the Facepalm Core.**  
>FC:<strong> Facepalm.**  
>AC:<strong> *mumbles* smart-a.**  
>UCFC: <strong>Fact: The Un-corrupted fact core now dislikes the Adventure Core just as much as the Facepalm Core dislikes the Adventure Core.**  
>FC: <strong>Facepalm.****

***Another long silence***

**UCFC:** Fact: This conversation is going nowhere.**  
>FC:<strong> Facepalm**.  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The facepalm core just supported my previous fact.**  
>AC:<strong> I'm out. I have more... exciting adventures to attend to.**  
>FC:<strong> Facepalm.**  
>*Adventure Core starts spinning in uncontrollable circles*<br>FC:** ...Facepalm?...**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: I don't have a fact to describe this.**  
>AC: <strong>What the f-**  
>*Adventure Core explodes*<br>GLaDOS:** That's better.


	3. Volume 4 with Epic Core (Yay Rhymes)

**A Day in the Life of a Core**

**Volume 4**

**Theo Telshalla** and **Anonymous**

UCFC- Un-corrupted Fact Core

FC- Facepalm Core

EC- Epic Core

**UCFC:** Fact: Sometimes things just can't be always qualified as fail. In these cases, the Facepalm Core cannot apply to the situation. Therefore, Aperture has come up with the Epic Core.**  
>FC: <strong>Facepalm.**  
>EC: <strong>Epic.**  
>FC: <strong>No, Facepalm.**  
>EC: <strong>Epic.  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm.**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The Epic Core and-**  
>EC:<strong> EPIC!**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: I was previously saying that the Epic Core and the Face-**  
>FC: <strong>No... FACEPALM!**  
>UCFC:<strong> Ahem. Fact: The Epic Core and the Facepalm Core do-**  
>EC: <strong>Epic Epic Epic Epic Epic Epic Epic Epic.**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The-**  
>FC: <strong>FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM!**  
>EC:<strong> EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC!**  
>FC: <strong>FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM!**  
>EC:<strong> EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC!**  
>FC: <strong>**FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM FACEPALM-****  
>GLaDOS: <strong>SHUT UP YOU MORONS!**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The Un-corrupted Fact core is GLaD that GLaDOS is here.**  
>FC:<strong> Facepalm.**  
>EC:<strong> Epic.**  
>GLaDOS:<strong> I TOLD you to SHUT UP!**  
>Announcer:<strong> The Facepalm and Epic Cores' speaking unit has been shut down.**  
>FC:<strong> Fffffffffffffffffffffff...**  
>EC:<strong> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...**  
>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The fact I was trying to state earlier is that the Epic Core and the Facepalm Core do not get along.**  
>*Facepalm Core and Epic Core start spinning around, trying to hit each-other*<br>GLaDOS:** I think we've figured that out by now.


	4. Volume 5 with Space Core

**A Day in the Life of a Core**

**Volume 5**

**Theo Telshalla** and **Anonymous**

UCFC- Un-corrupted Fact Core

FC- Facepalm Core

SC- Space Core

**UCFC:** Fact: The Facepalm Core cannot stand the Space Core.  
><strong>*Space Core yells, "SPAAACE!" as it rides past.*<strong>  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm.  
><strong>*Space Core comes back*<strong>  
><strong>SC:<strong> Space, space, wanna go to space.  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm.  
><strong>SC:<strong> Dad, are you space? *deeper voice* Yes, son. Now we are a family again.  
><strong>*Facepalm Core is twitching and sparking*<strong>  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm.  
><strong>SC:<strong> Space cops, space cops, here come the space cops.  
><strong>*Facepalm Core is spinning on rail*<strong>  
><strong>FC:<strong> No. Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> *loudly* FACT: CORES WHO WANT TO GO TO SPACE ARE INFERIOR TO THOSE THAT DO NOT!  
>SC: Space? Where? SPAAAACE!<br>***Facepalm Core falls off of it's rail***  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm Facepalm.  
><strong>GLaDOS:<strong> Facepalm Core, do the honors.  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no...  
><strong>GLaDOS:<strong> Congratulations. All three of you are to recieve Aperture Science Employee of the month Awards.  
><strong>SC:<strong> Space!  
><strong>GLaDOS:<strong> And then you will be incinerated. For Science.  
><strong>*Un-corrupted Fact Core, Facepalm Core, and Space Core are detatched from their rails. They roll around before a portal appears and they fall into it.*<strong>  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> Fact: We are going to die.  
><strong>SC:<strong> Falling? Into space? Spaace!  
><strong>*The three cores land on an incinerator*<strong>  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm.  
><strong>GLaDOS:<strong> Thank you for participating in science. Goodbye.  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> Fact: You need to SHUT UP!  
><strong>*The incinerator opens and the three cores fall in.*<strong>  
><strong>SC:<strong> _**SPAAAAAAAAAAAAA**__AAAAAAAAAAAAAA_AAAAAAAAAACE!  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> Fact: Facepalm Core, this is all your fault.  
><strong>FC:<strong> ...Facepalm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
>*GLaDOS is watching on a screen*<br>**GLaDOS:** Morons...

**AN: Yes, just in case you were wondering... this is the final chapter. And yes, they all die. D':  
>I know, I miss them too.<strong>


	5. Deleted Volume

**A Day in the Life of a Core**

**Deleted Volume: The Boring Sphere**

**Theo Telshalla**

**AN: This does not continue the storyline and is not the missing Volume Two. I promise that if I ever make contact with my friend again, I will attempt to recover the chapter and upload it. For now, enjoy this "Deleted" Volume that I made when I was bored one day.**

FC= Facepalm Core

UCFC= Un-corrupted Fact Core

OC= Opinion Core

BS= Boring Sphere

**UCFC:** Fact: the Boring Sphere was designed by some of the greatest minds in order to make GLaDOS very, very, very, very, very, ver- boring. In fact, so boring that she would be driven to murdering herself. It was-  
><strong>FC:<strong> *distant* Facepalm.  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> Fact: It was la-  
><strong>OC:<strong> In my opinion, I don't think GLaDOS needed a Boring Sphere to make her boring.  
><strong>GLaDOS:<strong> *sharp, stale voice* What was that you just said?  
><strong>OC:<strong> In my opinion, I really don't prefer to repeat the words I had spoken earlier.  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> Fact: The opinion core previously stated, "I really don't think GLaDOS needed-"  
><strong>FC:<strong> *still distant* Facepalm. Facepalm. Facepalm. Facepalm.  
><strong>*GLaDOS chuckles robotically*<strong>  
><strong>*Hatch in chamber ceiling opens and the Facepalm Core and the Boring Sphere fall from a pneumatic diversity vent onto the chamber floor, along with a few empty bean cans.*<strong>  
><strong>BS:<strong> So then, I learned that you were here, so I said to you the story of how dogs are dogs, paper is paper, pineapple is pineapple, the plural of sheep is sheep, the plural of grape is grapes... (And on and on it went in the background in a very monotoned voice)  
><strong>FC:<strong> *hitting self against a panel* Facepalm. Facepalm. Facepalm. Facepalm. Facepalm.  
><strong>OC:<strong> In my opinion, the Boring Sphere is so boring that... well... the Boring Sphere is so boring.  
><strong>UCFC:<strong> Fact: As I previously stated, *says first line quickly* It was later removed due to the discovery that some really great-minded Aperture Science employees had committed suicide due to the utter boring-ness of GLaDOS.  
><strong>FC:<strong> Facepalm.  
><strong>OC:<strong> I can understand that.  
><strong>*Boring Sphere drones on*<strong>  
><strong>*Facepalm Core starts rolling the Boring Sphere toward an open incinerator, all the while saying, "Facepalm"*<strong>  
><strong>BS:<strong> ...and so, as Da'vinci's journal states, the bat- tsssssssssssss  
><strong>GLaDOS:<strong> Have fun. In Android hell...


End file.
